It’s another one of those blustery Spring days. Outside, a powerful wind tosses the trees and turns the clouds a deep indigo that usually signals storms. This is my favorite kind of weather–when the clouds pile on top of one another and you can feel the extra charge in the air…something brewing. I’m inside, listening to the song “Toes” by Lights, a song I discovered two years ago today–the day my husband asked me to marry him.
April 20, 2015 I was in my parents’ house, listening to the same song, watching black and green clouds build outside my window and feeling anticipation in the air. I didn’t know yet that Tim was going to propose later that evening, but I knew that was the next step for us, and the words of the song seemed to fit perfectly with the season of unknowns and possibilities that defined the season ahead.
Oh you capture my attention
Carefully listening, don’t want to miss a thing, keeping my eyes on you.
Oh, you capture my attention
I’m anticipating, I’m watching and waiting for you to make your move.
Got me on my toes.
As with lots of songs that really mean something to me, I find myself singing it to God, as a prayer, an anthem, one of those journal entries of my heart that He can see.
The more I think about it, my whole life could be summed up this way–on my toes–literally. Living every moment to its fullest, not wanting to miss anything that God was doing. When I was a child, my parents taught me that each day was a gift from God. I remember once telling my mom how blessed I was just to know that God had made me. The excitement of life’s possibilities were often overwhelming to me, sometimes keeping me up at night, often causing me to break into wild, silly dances where I would twirl or prance around the living room on my tiptoes for no reason. Life was just that exciting, and I just had to express my joy. I was charged. And God did that.
Now as an adult, I still feel like I’m on my toes, waiting on God with my questions in hand, but often with a very different attitude. There have been times where I’ve allowed the imminent struggles and speed bumps of life to slow me down, dampen my enthusiasm, and even cloud my view of God. Often, I find myself approaching God with an attitude that’s more cynical than hopeful.
I need to regain that childlike wonder. Because after all, God hasn’t changed. And when He reaches in and plucks those chords in my heart, I feel everything coming alive again and I remember, yes–this is what I was made for!
Why not live in that place always? Not ignoring the stresses of life, but responding to them in a way that demonstrates my expectant worship of God and my certainty that He is writing a wonderful story, painting a gorgeous picture, scripting a beautiful song.
John 7:38 says that when we know God and keep His Word, out of our hearts will flow rivers of living water–the Holy Spirit. We have everything we need to live in this place of hopeful anticipation.
God, ignite me. Let even the unknowns and unexpecteds of life turn to joy as I anticipate what you’re doing.
Oh, You capture my attention
I’m anticipating, I’m watching and waiting for You to make Your Move
Got me on my toes.
–Song credit: “Toes” by artist Lights, album Siberia.–