I was driving home from work one day recently with conflicted thoughts swirling inside me. My mind felt as foggy as the day outside and I was burdened and scattered. Election seasons have always been hard for me, as I have to find my footing each new day again and live in the constant tension of God’s Promises and man’s responsibility — or lack of it. I’ve been learning a lot in these weeks of concentrated praying. But I feel like I’m “on” all the time, rarely resting. How do you pray for the best but prepare for the worst? So, that’s how it was that afternoon, driving, thinking, feeling the weight of all that exists in the periphery of my mind.
And then I realize that I’m singing. With no music. As the miles of scattered thoughts and leaves crunch under my tires, I’m singing to Jesus.
A sweet song by Watermark’s Christy Nockels…You’re already all I need/Already everything that I could hope for/You’re already all I need.
It’s not a typical drive home, where I usually play music that fits my mood. I decided to just go with the song that was somehow on my lips in spite of everything on my mind. So I found it on my iPod. When the music filled the car and I began to sing along, I felt my spirit uplifted, drawn into the lyrics as I declared them…every statement in direct contrast with my feelings, yet elevating them. Never underestimate the power of declaring the Truth about God when you least feel it.
When the song ended, the iPod began to play the haunting soundtrack from the beautiful Nativity movie that came out several years ago–my favorite rendition of the birth of Jesus. Pensive, my soul still aloft, I listened, stirred and quieted at the same time, picturing how it was when God burst into Mary’s Israeli scenery 2000+ years ago.
Then, out of nowhere–God said one line to me: The world into which I entered was as hopeless as any.
The phrase was crystal clear in the silence of my spirit, and I caught it, waiting for Him to say more, but all I heard was that one sentence.
Then I began to think about Mary’s world–the one Jesus was born into. Bloodthirsty soldiers killing babies at the king’s command, Israel at Rome’s feet, traitors within and enemies without, pitiless puppet governments on top and heart-numbing poverty on bottom. And Jesus burst in, quietly and dramatically, into that scene, outsmarting every political and religious leader of the day.
With this in mind, I had to smile when I heard the next song on my iPod beginning to play: O Come O Come Emmanuel.
A cry of hope. A cry for God to remember His People. A declaration that He will. I gently sang along with the Christmas song, knowing the next time I listen to it, I will know the direction our government it taking this country, for better or worse.
But I already know what direction I am taking–and no one can pluck me off of it. Because I’m marked. I’m His. He hears my prayers and whatever is coming, He has been preparing me my whole life to be/do something beautiful for His Glory. I still don’t know what is coming. But I know WHO is definitely coming.
I know the One who is here with me right now and will never leave. He is Emmanuel.
And He’s already all I need.
***PLEASE VOTE!!! AND PRAY! PRAY WITHOUT CEASING!!***